Being loved and adored and showered with attention is the stuff that everyone dreams of when it comes to relationships. However, what happens when all the attention is over the top and becomes too much to manage? While love is a grand feeling that makes your heart skip a beat, some people use this emotion to exploit people for their gain, and it’s called love bombing.
While it’s not always easy to tell at first, you will soon be able to identify if your partner is genuinely in love with you or using you to further their agenda. Since love bombing is a relatively new term, you may not fully understand it. It simply means that someone is manipulating you with your emotions.
The manipulation is to get you to change or do something they want. The motives behind it seem endearing, at first. However, you will soon learn that they’re bringing you under their spell for selfish purposes. Oddly enough, when you’re being used and manipulated in this manner, it has a direct effect on your hormones.
The manipulator wants you to feel valued and treasured, so they work overtime to accomplish this task. Your brain loves the feeling of being adored and desired, so it will release endorphins to flood your feel-good receptors. Please make no mistake; it will only be a matter of time before you know the truth, and sometimes it’s too late.
Once you’re entangled in their web of deceit, it can be hard to break free. The relationship is all a figment of your imagination, and the feelings you developed were not genuine, as you were a pawn in a sick and twisted game.
Ten Telltale Signs of Love Bombing
It can be challenging to identify the signs of love bombing, especially since you tend to be distracted by their undying love for you. Consequently, it is essential to distinguish between true love and the narcissist who uses control tactics like love bombing to manipulate you. Here are some signs to help you out.
1. Someone Engaged in Love Bombing Will Call or Text Way Too Much
Everybody knows that communication is essential in a relationship. However, if your partner calls or texts non-stop, it can be smothering. They don’t miss you that much.
Instead, they want to call and check up on you because there’s a trust issue. They know they’re doing you wrong, and they want to make sure that you haven’t figured them out. They may be working an angle and trying to get something from you too.
2. They Want to Know Your Every Move
While it’s sweet to want someone to check in to ensure safety, it can also be creepy when it’s overdone. When someone wants to know your every move, they’re not concerned about your safety but more checking in on you. They can spew the sweetest words that make you trust their motives, but you will soon notice a narcissistic trend that quashes that euphoric feeling they once gave you.
3. Love Bombing Partners Will Become Chummy with Family and Friends
To make their ruse further believable, it’s not uncommon for the manipulator to get in good with your friends and family members. This person needs your inner circle to trust them to back up the plan. Once they get the family to buy on to the plan hook, line, and sinker, then it becomes easier to manipulate you.
See, your friends and family members will vouch for them when you question their motives. The exploiter has everyone fooled into thinking they’re the perfect partner, but they’re nothing more than a master manipulator.
4. They’re Overly Involved in Your Successes
It’s nice to have someone that celebrates with you when you’ve done something successfully, but have you ever noticed that your partner is more excited than you? Going overboard when you accomplish a milestone is something that the manipulator often does.
To the rest of the world, you’ve hooked one great fish in the dating pool, but you must look behind the façade and see the real intentions. They want to manipulate you and get you on their side, as they have a much bigger plan in store for you.
5. Love Bombing People Use Your Insecurities to Manipulate Your Feelings
It will help if you keep your guard up around these classic manipulators, as they tend to be very good at finding out all the dirt on you. They can dig up your darkest secret, and nothing is off-limits once they have something to use against you. The information becomes leverage, and you’re putty in their hands.
They manipulate your emotions so that you trust them and feel good, but then the sociopath will try to make you regretful and depressed. If you feel like you’re riding an emotional roller coaster with this person, it’s a red flag that you’re being love-bombed.
6. They Hate Any Boundaries You Set
Everyone has boundaries, and these are important in any relationship. You need to retain your individuality, and it’s often a bone of contention with the narcissistic lover. According to therapist Sharon Martin from Psych Central, it’s a big red flag when someone repeatedly violates personal boundaries.
She further states that love is all about respect, and you have choices. If someone continually violates your boundaries, it’s disrespectful of you as a human being.
7. They Pamper You Way Too Much
Is it possible to be pampered too much? Well, it feels incredible to have someone tell you how special you are and how much you’re loved. However, there’s that point where it goes from pleasant to overboard, and they begin to look suspicious.
The issue with this pampering lover is that the goal is for you to become dependent on them for everything. They’re doting on you because they want to ensure that you aren’t going anywhere.
When you’re going through this stage of being pampered like royalty, you need to ensure the relationship is not heading into the next phase of love bombing. Is the extra attention genuine, or are you being played?
8. Someone Who Is Love Bombing Wants to Dominate Your Time
When you’re in love, you want to spend every chance you have together. However, what do you do when that other person becomes suffocating? While it’s fun initially, you have responsibilities that don’t include dating and hanging out every night of the week.
It’s impressive at first that they can’t seem to live without you, but it soon feels like you have no personal time or space. This is another tactic of the classic manipulator who wants to get on your good side. By doing this, it’s easier for them to use you without you noticing a thing.
9. The Relationship is Moving Lightening Quick
There are many phases of love bombing, and the first stage moves very quickly. They may come across that they’ve been swept up in your beauty and overcome by passion, but it’s really because they have a time frame that has nothing to do with you.
If someone starts saying they love you by the second date, if they want to move in with you in less than a month, or they want to be exclusive right after you meet, it’s all red flags.
Sure, some people know the minute they see each other that they’re the one, but those stories have more bad endings than good ones. Time is your friend when it comes to protecting yourself from narcissists. Make sure you date long enough to know them and their motives before entering into a committed relationship or marriage.
10. A Love Bombing Partner Will Be Overly Involved in Your Life’s Decisions
If your partner seems overly concerned in your decision-making, it’s a cause for concern. Unless you’re planning to spend eternity together, the other person shouldn’t be so involved in your choices. Another alarming action is that some folks will mirror your pursuits and preferences to match theirs.
Don’t be fooled by all this concern for your decisions and future. Once again, they have only their selfish plan to consider. While it feels so good to have someone who cares for you so genuinely, they’re nothing more than a very skilled actor.
Final Thoughts on Knowing the Red Flags That Reveal Love Bombing
A study published on Research Gate shows that love bombers often have low self-esteem and poor views of self. As with most narcissists, these folks have likely had something happen to them in their past that has warped their idea of relationships. It’s often the case that these people don’t have good relationships with friends or parents, as they tend to have an expiration date with folks.
It’s nothing more than narcissistic self-enhancement when someone tries to control you to the point of taking over your life. Sadly, these arrangements can have a negative psychological impact on you and the person who is manipulating you. Toxic relationships are all around you, but it’s about picking the best person for you.
Indeed, you’ll probably kiss a few toads before you find your prince/princess. Though, it’s better to take your time and make sure you find someone who complements you and does not harm you psychologically.