June
9, 2021
6 min read
Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.
How often do you say everything is fine when behind the scenes, it’s really not? Actually, you may be feeling scared, worried, insecure or worthless.
I like to ask tough questions to my clients. It helps me to get to the root of an issue pretty quickly and rip it out so that it no longer exists.
One of the questions that helps me to do this is, “What is the No. 1 thing you struggle discussing openly with others?”
Anything that is suppressed will end up manifesting in another form. For some, that may be anxiety, and for others, it may be disconnection in their relationships or an inability to move their businesses forward.
In my experience, there are 10 major areas that most people shy away from speaking about. Just being aware of these can help you to feel like you’re not alone and move forward to resolve the issue. When something isn’t resolved, it takes up vital energy. Lifeforce is weighed down like a balloon with someone pulling on it.
Speaking up about what’s really going on is like chopping off that excess weight. Energy starts to move and you start to feel lighter.
Recently, I went to an event with around 2,500 men. On each of the men’s backs was a wooden “burden” block. Not one block had fewer than five things written in black marker, and most were full. The exercise is powerful because it helps us to realize that we’re not the only person battling these issues.
It’s too easy to put ourselves in a crippling mental box and start to think and feel that we’re the only person experiencing it.
Why entrepreneurs struggle to be authentic
Speaking openly about what’s really going on in our lives is powerful, but why do so many struggle with being authentic and raw?
Simply, we fear loss. We fear that if we really share what’s going on, we will lose something. That loss could be the love from people close to us. For many, being authentic on social media means that they would lose business. We internalize the idea that if people see the real us, everything will come crashing down.
In reality, this is an illusion created by the ego to protect itself.
The trouble is that when we fail to be authentic, it robs our soul of freedom. We blow up small things in our heads, which cripples us, making us unable to take action.
Over time, after some nurturing, reducing the mental chatter and living from the heart, we can start to break free. Here are some topics we can finally speak about freely when we’re being true to ourselves.
Related: 10 Unmistakable Habits of Utterly Authentic People
1. Finances
Because there is so much unhealthy comparison between those in business, it’s almost impossible to speak to others about what’s happening financially. This can have significant consequences: One of the biggest causes of relationship breakdown is finances.
2. Health and body issues
Whether it’s denial about weight challenges, birth defects or going bald, being comfortable in our own skin is true freedom. Once we own where we are at in our lives, we create a deeper connection with others.
3. Loneliness
There are many reasons why entrepreneurs isolate, but one of the big ones is not feeling comfortable connecting with others. We come up with excuses like “I’m too busy” or “I’m too tired” when invited to social situations, and eventually those invitations stop. Then, we enter a spiral that’s hard to come out of.
4. Lack of success
Whether you’re new to business or finances have taken a dive after a string of wins, those dips are often one of the hardest things to talk about. When we understand that every enterpreneur endures a rollercoaster, we can start to feel lighter.
Related: 7 Mindsets That Guarantee Enduring Success
5. Personal needs
Especially for people-pleasers, meeting other people’s needs isn’t a problem, but when we need something ourselves, we often ignore it. Often this is because we don’t want to be a burden, but we forget that for most people, meeting other’s needs provides energy and fulfillment.
6. Relationship challenges
Connection in relationships for entrepreneurs can be a struggle due to lack of presence. The mind loves to work, work, work and burn itself into the ground. It’s very common to avoid resolving relationship issues because we feel that they will eventually go away. They don’t.
7. Past traumatic events
If a past event keeps coming up for you, then your body is telling you that it’s time to get it resolved. However, these can be the toughest to talk about because we don’t want to go back to the feelings of the event. Healing is often dark, but there is liberation on the other side.
8. Regrets
What may seem small to some (throwing a stone at a bird as a child, not paying money back when you were supposed to), can torment others for their entire lives. We simply can’t forgive ourselves for the actions that we took in the past. This zaps our life force if not resolved.
9. Family dynamics
Typically, the relationship between an entrepreneur and his or her mother or father has a huge impact on wellbeing. If the drive comes from an unhealthy place, it will be destructive in the long term if it’s not resolved. Many are unaware that a past relationship is the root of their suffering.
10. Mistakes
I’ve screwed up many times as a business owner, but it’s shaped me into who I am today. Once we can start to be more open about those mistakes, they no longer hold us down. Start to think about what has been the positive impact of the events that you wish you could turn the clock back on.
The courage to make a power move and start speaking up about your challenges, whether that’s with the person closest to you or a coach, often catapults you to the next level. Your body is no longer holding onto resistance, and that free energy is a force that will launch you like a rocket.
The more we shove it down, the more we start to feel “crazy” because it’s putting our systems in overload.
Being a truly authentic, conscious leader means doing the hard thing: Who do you need to start an open conversation with?
Focus positively on what’s on the other side, not on the emotions that might come up in the conversation. Because that will sabotage you, every time.