Some women dream of their wedding day since childhood. They have visions of walking down the aisle in a long flowing gown to meet prince charming. However, that little girl doesn’t know it takes a lot of effort to make a relationship work, and committing is just the first part.
Part of being a couple means learning from your faults and growing. While some mistakes you make in your relationship are obvious, others you may be oblivious to. How can you correct an issue that you don’t recognize?
Relationships are about give and take, and you will often apologize to ensure you keep your partner happy. Learning to change destructive behaviors is part of being a better human being, and it’s something you must do if you want to be in a long-term relationship.
We note that men, too, make their fair share of miscalculations. But their behaviors generally differ from women, as addressed in a separate article.
Ten Common Mistakes Women Make with Their Partner
If you want your relationship to be happy and healthy, you need to know the things you’re doing that are offensive. You can make positive changes to enhance your relationship. Here are ten things that can help you to be a better partner.
1. Some Women Try to Change Their Partners
The most significant part of trying to change someone is that you don’t accept them as they are. You must understand that changes naturally happen when you’re with a partner that completes you and makes you a better person. These alterations occur when a person desires to alter their life, and you can’t force them.
Let’s assume you’ve met Mr. Wonderful and can’t wait to spend your life with him. The only problem is that he has a few bad habits. For instance, his house is filthy, and he has hoarding tendencies. He’s also been fired from many jobs and is out of work. While your love may save him, it doesn’t mean it will change his ways.
Things like hoarding and not caring for one’s home can all be signs of an underlying anxiety disorder like OCD. He may love you with all his heart, but it doesn’t mean he can change and become a new person just because he’s met you. Anxiety disorders require treatment for change, and he must want help.
Additionally, his family might have lived this way, and he feels hoarding is how you protect the future. Even if you treat the disorder, you can’t always change the mindset ingrained in a person. It would be easier to shift the direction of the flow of water.
According to the Greater Good Science Center, this problem has occurred since dawn. The key to understanding this is that the barometer of each person’s moral convictions is different. Just because you see hoarding as wrong doesn’t mean that he sees things that way.
2. Moving Too Quick
In many aspects of the relationship, women move faster than men. While a man may be more eager to get physical, the woman is already thinking of her dream home and babies running around. You can easily scare off any man by jumping in too far and going too fast.
Things have changed in the last twenty years. Just because you have intimacy doesn’t mean the other person develops feelings. Many women are ready to settle down and get married after being intimate, but guys don’t always see things the same.
A study states that most couples have already been intimate by the third date. It’s become normal to be physical even if you have no genuine interest in the person. Women develop more feelings from these physical connections than men, so it’s only natural to fall in love fast. However, you will scare off a good man when moving so quickly that he feels smothered.
3. Invading His Personal Space
A women’s biggest mistake is not allowing her man person space. It’s selfish to think that when you become a couple, they won’t see their friends or family anymore. You can’t dominate every minute of their day and get upset when they have plans that don’t include you.
While most of their life should involve you, it’s okay for you both to have separate interests and friends. The old saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder has a lot of depth, as you need that time apart to strengthen your connection.
4. Women Sometimes Engage in Unnecessary Jealousy
It’s only natural to become jealous if someone is unfaithful. Consequently, if that person hasn’t done anything and you’re jealous of them, it’s your problem and not theirs to manage.
Some women cover their partner’s eyes when a girl wears a bathing suit on TV. Behavior such as this screams that you have low self-esteem. Being with a jealous partner can ruin your life, and the accused is often innocent.
You’re projecting your insecurities onto your partner when you falsely accuse someone of cheating. Nothing will send a man packing quicker than a jealous woman always mad and charging him with something he didn’t do.
5. Constant Nagging
Women nag by nature, as they feel they can’t get their partner to do anything unless they stay on top of them. For instance, you tell your man to take out the trash, wash the car, clean the garage and do 100 other things before he even takes his shoes off from work. This is a classic case of nagging.
Sure, there’s a time and place to discuss household chores and other things that need to be done, but it should never be a constant thing. Don’t follow your partner with a verbal list of all he needs to do or has done wrong. He will see this as nagging and want to spend less time around you.
6. Getting Others Involved in the Relationship
Running to a third party when you have issues is a big problem. It would help if you worked through your disputes without involving anyone else. The key is to run to each other and communicate. Set boundaries in your relationship for how you will handle things.
Women love to be comforted by their friends and family when their partner upsets them. However, never air your dirty laundry and make the other person look bad in front of people. The real issue is that you will be over this argument quickly, and the other party has already formed an opinion that isn’t easily erased.
7. Some Women Set Unrealistic Expectations
If you compare your relationship to the ones you see on TV and read about on the internet, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Sure, Cinderella got the man, and they rode away and lived happily ever after, but these are works of fiction. Your prince will be less charming when he’s paying the bills, cutting the lawn, and doing other household chores rather than taking you out on the town.
Never judge your relationship by what you see online. A recent study by Science X Network showed that 86% of all internet users had read and believed fake news. This news comes from numerous sources, including social media. Just think of all the people that portray the happy family who go on fabulous vacations and are all smiles.
The truth is that no family is perfect. If you gauge your relationship by what you see online, you’re setting yourself up for failure.
8. Expecting Mind-Reading Abilities
If your partner has done something that has upset you, you need to tell him rather than assuming he can read your mind. He cannot tell what you think or feel unless he’s psychic. He knows you’re mad, but he may not fully understand why.
Guys tend to think of things in black-and-white terms, while women see 100 shades of gray in the middle. It would help if you told him what he’s done to upset you and what you’re feeling. Playing games and not having good communication will drive a wedge between you.
9. Some Women Are Too Selfish
When you love someone deeply, you often put their needs above yours. Selfishness goes far beyond taking the last piece of chocolate cake. When you spend money you don’t have and put the family in debt, it’s selfish behavior.
It’s unrealistic to think things will always go your way, and it’s controlling to try to manipulate situations. When you’re a part of a couple, your choices and actions affect more than just you.
10. Breaking Relationship Trust
There are many ways that you can break trust in a relationship. Some ways to alter this foundational structure include infidelity, lying, withholding information, breaking promises, and bad-mouthing your partner. You can spend years building trust in a relationship.
Sadly, all it takes is one mistake, and you can erase all that work in a second. You make one wrong move, like cheating, which can change everything. Rebuilding trust can be done, but it’s not an easy journey. It’s best to have a trained therapist to help with these issues.
Final Thoughts on Mistakes in Relationships
Women have visions of the perfect relationship, but there’s no such thing. Now that you see some of the errors in your actions, you can start the hard work of fixing them. Just remember that Rome wasn’t built in a day.
It’s going to take a lot of work to change your behavior. However, with some understanding and patience from your partner, you can work through these issues and be better for them.
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