Do you believe someone you care about faces a struggle with spousal abuse?
It’s normal for people to have less time to spend with their friends and family when they enter a new relationship or get married. Understandably, they want to spend every waking minute together, as new love is often an overwhelming emotion that dominates their life.
However, how do you know if the changes are due to true love or something else? Could their absence be due to spousal abuse, and do they need help? If your once best friend is hardly around and is eager to end phone calls, it can be due to a relationship issue.
As things progress, you may witness verbal bashings on the phone or watch them be dragged out of a public place because they didn’t follow orders. Many relationships start as a picture-perfect romance; however, they end in disaster.
Identifying the Twenty Most Frequent Signs of Spousal Abuse
Sadly, the indications that someone is in a psychologically abusive or physically abusive relationship are often subtle. These signs may go unnoticed to you and those around them. Most people don’t get on social media and post their need for help, as it’s up to you to figure out what’s going on.
Some signs of spousal abuse are glaringly obvious, while others are a bit more discrete. Here are the twenty red flags that someone might be dealing with an abusive and c.
1. Their Grooming Habits Are Changing
A person who seemingly always had it together may begin to look like they don’t care about their appearance anymore. Their once quaffed hair has become a rat’s nest that looks like it hasn’t been combed. The truth maybe they have 101 things on their mind, and being a snappy dresser isn’t one of them.
Did you know that one of the most significant indicators of mental illness is a lack of personal hygiene? According to Mental Help, when someone becomes depressed, their hygiene is often one of the first things to go. It’s not that they don’t care about their appearance. It’s that the things going on inside their head dominates their life.
2. A Victim of Spousal Abuse May Have Physical Wounds
It’s normal for people to stub their toe, burn a finger while cooking, or get the occasional bruise or bump. However, when you start seeing more physical wounds and the explanations become more bizarre, it indicates an issue.
Abusive situations can take on many forms, and it doesn’t always result in a black eye. If you think things might be out of whack, confront your friend about the frequency and severity of their wounds.
3. Clothing Are Seasonally Inappropriate
People who have physical wounds to hide will often use seasonally inappropriate clothing. For instance, if they usually wear shorts in the summer, they have only worn jeans this year might be a significant indication of an issue. Additionally, wearing scarves constantly or long sleeves when it’s hot outside can also indicate trouble.
4. Appearance Improves or Making Drastic Changes
While some folks let their appearance go, others try to change and become the trophy wife or husband the other person wants. You may see them get plastic surgery, do other enhancements to their body, and get a new wardrobe. They feel that it will keep the spousal abuse at bay if they become the perfect person for their partner.
5. A Victim of Spousal Abuse May Have a Changing Social Life
An individual in an abusive situation won’t be as social as before, especially since they have a big secret to hide. They will avoid social activities as they know it will upset their partner and cause reprimand or abuse.
6. The Confidence Level Has Sunken to A New Low
Was this person once confident, but now their self-esteem is exceptionally low? It’s an indication that something has changed in their life. It doesn’t always indicate an abusive situation, but it can be one sign that something isn’t right.
7. The Body Language Is Different
Body language is a significant indicator of what’s going on inside. If your once chill friend is suddenly uptight and not able to relax, it’s a red flag.
8. They’re Distracted or Preoccupied
You can’t even carry on a conversation with this person anymore. Their mind is a million miles away, and they seem to be somewhere else. They could be preoccupied with the abusive situation in their home.
9. They Can’t Put Down Their Phone with Not with Their Partner
If you manage to score some time with them, they will need to be texting or calling their spouse regularly. It’s almost as if they’re afraid of what might happen if they don’t keep in close contact with them. Those who are involved in spousal abuse certainly don’t want to upset the other party.
10. They Only Tell You Superficial Things About Their Relationship
When you ask how things are going with their relationship, they tend to keep things very surface. They don’t want to reveal too much of what’s going on. The chances are that they feel they’re to blame for the state of their relationship, and they don’t want you to see their spouse in a negative light.
11. Spousal Abuse Victims Quit Posting on Social Media Platforms
If this person always posted on social media, but now they’re gone, it’s an indication that something is going on. When someone is being abused, they try to hide so that their situation isn’t brought to light. Their abuser has them manipulated into thinking they will hurt them further or even kill them if they try to get away.
12. Communication Habits Change During Spousal Abuse
You hardly ever hear from your friend anymore, and if they do call, the conversation seems forced or rushed. It’s not that they don’t love you; it’s that they don’t love the situation that they’re in. As a result, they don’t know how to tell you that they need help.
13. They’re Distant and Blow Off Friends
Other friends and even family members are complaining that it’s impossible to get ahold of this person. They ignore phone calls, texts and don’t show up at family dinners anymore. They’ve become so distant because they’re afraid that someone might realize what’s going on in their life.
14. They Won’t Discuss the Past
They don’t remember anything before the person they’re with now. If you bring up the past, they’re eager to dismiss it because of the jealousy issues it raises with their current spouse.
15. They Stop Socializing and Doing Their Favorite Activities
Forget Friday night movies with their friends and the bowling league they were so proud of. Now, they only seem to have time for their spouse, and if they try to sneak away, it may become an ugly situation.
16. They’re Always Rushed
If you do manage to get a few minutes of your friend’s time, don’t be upset if they seem rushed. They may have time frames, and they fear what might happen if they don’t make it home in time.
17. It Always Looks Like They’re Sleep Deprived or Have Been Crying
You can tell someone who is abused by the bags under their eyes or the look as if they’ve cried all night. Since the eyes are the window to the soul, it’s evident that something internal is affecting their rest.
18. They Begin to Lie and Make-Up Stories
Your once trustworthy friend is now telling stories. You’ve caught them in a few lies, and it’s not like them at all. They’re probably covering for their abuser as they’ve confused love and devotion with a toxic relationship.
19. Spousal Abuse Victims Might Have Unexplained Financial Burdens
If you’ve noticed a significant change in your friend’s finances, it can be due to an abusive situation. The abuser will often cut off money from the other party to manage and manipulate them.
Money is almost always one of the tactics used by an abuser who needs to gain control, and it helps them keep them from escaping too.
20. The Emotions Change or Seem Fake
They smile, but it seems like this smile is forced. They will laugh, but it’s not the same as it used to be. Their emotions are fake and pushed, and their whole personality is changing.
Final Thoughts on Your Friend Dealing with Spousal Abuse
The longer a person stays in this kind of relationship, the more manipulated they will be. Additionally, a verbally abusive situation can turn physical in the blink of an eye. The worst thing you can do is ignore all the red flags.
A person experiencing spousal abuse may shut you out, but there are ways to help them. Your friend is worthy of love, the real, proper kind. They need to take back their life, and you can help.
The National Domestic Abuse Hotline is easy to reach at 1-800-799-7233. Encourage them to get help, even if you must slip them the number.
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