A new relationship is probably one of the most exciting things in your life. You’re more than happy to share the news with everyone. But what if your partner shares too much, putting you in an awkward position? Are they oversharing? Do they need to start listening to you more?
If your significant other has been through a toxic relationship, they are probably nervous about a new one. They may go overboard by discussing every detail of your relationship to feel more secure. They also may feel the need to gain other people’s acceptance.
Twelve Signs Someone is Oversharing in a Relationship
It’s normal for a couple to talk to their friends, family members, and coworkers about each other. They go beyond respectful boundaries when they discuss things without your consent. It’s an invasion of your privacy and a breach of your trust.
Another negative consequence of sharing too much is that others may start to resent you. Your partner may force them to form opinions from information that may be biased. It’s almost like how the tabloids exploit and add to the private information of celebrity couples.
When the conversation goes from charming to sharing too much information, it may signal a problem. Here are twelve warning signs to notice if your partner is oversharing in the relationship.
1. Your Whole Relationship Is Chronicled on Social Media
In the good old days, lovers carried pictures of each other in their wallets. They would also keep thick photo albums of your vacations and travels as a couple. If they got married, they preserved the memories on a VHS tape to show anyone who visits their home.
Now, couples flood their social media accounts with posts and pictures. Often, they go overboard as if they are chronicling every second of their lives. Such oversharing is a popular reason that some people get blocked and unfriended on these social sites,
Yes, sharing photos, meaningful stories, and occasional videos are expected. However, it becomes obsessive if your friends and family feel like they are stuck in a reality show with you. Is your mate talking too much about your relationship on social media?
2. They Breach Their Confidence by Oversharing
If you can’t trust the one you love, it’s time to question your relationship. According to an article published by Sage Journals, a lack of trust can play a significant role in relationship problems. When you confidently share something with your partner, you expect it to stay between you.
Sharing too much and discussing your personal information and details about your relationship is taboo. It’s incredibly embarrassing if they share intimate things that nobody wants to hear. Plus, you have other items about your individual life that you don’t want spreading to whoever is listening, including things that happen behind closed doors.
3. Oversharing Might Reveal How They Have No Boundaries
One of the essential parts of starting a new relationship is to set mutual boundaries. These are the parameters you’ve established where you feel comfortable. You don’t want to discuss some particular subjects until your relationship has grown.
Your potential partner may be toxic if they initially talk too much. Why would they overshare about money, future children, and an inclusive relationship when you don’t know each other well enough? A lack of boundaries this early in the game can spell trouble in the future.
4. You’ve Had Past Arguments about Them Oversharing
Sometimes, talking too much comes naturally when you’re their first serious love interest. You may have noticed that talking too much has become a pattern for them. You’ve confronted them in the past, which led to several arguments.
If your relationship is healthy, your person will listen to you and change their habits. However, past behavior can often predict future behavior. If they are still sharing too much, it may be an issue that isn’t fixable.
5. Instead of Really Listening to Your Concern, They Become Defensive If You Mention Their Oversharing
At first, give your partner the benefit of the doubt and talk to them about their oversharing habit. Maybe they’ve been so caught up in the relationship that they overlook it. In this case, they may apologize and try to do better.
Take it as a red flag if they get defensive when you mention the subject. They may shift the blame to you and say that you’re being too sensitive. Or maybe they may view your objections to their oversharing as not loving them enough.
6. Your Mutual Friends Joke About the Issue
One of Shakespeare’s memorable lines is how truth sometimes masquerades as a jest. Your family and friends may tease you about how obsessed your partner is with the relationship. The truth is that it’s getting on their nerves, and they are using humor to spare your feelings.
Maybe you’ve been so infatuated that you didn’t notice your partner talking too much. Don’t be afraid to speak to a close friend or family member for an honest opinion. Their honesty may give you a different perspective on your new relationship.
7. The Only Topic They Can Discuss is Your Relationship
When you’re a new couple, you often want to proclaim your love to the world. Your friends and family will usually understand and share in your joy. They’ll happily look at pictures and listen to stories about how you met and your first kiss.
At some point, you go beyond the “honeymoon” phase and have other topics of discussion. If your new partner talks too much about your relationship, other folks are bound to get bored. Sharing too much can make people dread meeting up with them for a one-sided chat.
8. They Bring Others into Your Relationship Problems
As long as humans are part of a relationship, there are bound to be problems. Learning how to solve these issues together can make your relationship stronger. These are problems between you, and you don’t need an audience.
Talking too much tends to bring outsiders into your private business. Does your partner freely share details of your arguments and other personal information? Communicating confidential information drags unwilling participants into fights to referee.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t seek couples counseling from a mental health professional or trusted spiritual advisor. It can get nasty if they coerce family and mutual friends into taking sides. Oversharing relationship problems can potentially break couples apart.
9. They Often Speak For You Without Listening to Your Views
It’s one thing for your significant other to share their opinion, but quite another when they share yours. Sometimes, you may share thoughts and ideas you don’t want to air to the general public. However, they may decide to be your voice and talk too much.
You may be shocked and irritated when you hear second-hand about all you’ve supposedly said or thought. Your partner gets so caught up with oversharing that they must include you. Remember that even though you’re a couple, you still maintain your individuality and your right to speak for yourself.
10. They Often Don’t Share What’s Important
An article published by Frontiers in Psychology maintains that communication is the heart of a relationship. You and your person can chat often, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re communicating. It involves active listening and sharing important information with you as a couple.
You should be the first person your partner comes to with problems and concerns. It’s critical when they talk too much about it with others, not you. Somebody isn’t communicating honestly if you’re the last person to hear stuff from the rumor mill about your relationship.
11. Oversharing the Past
When you’re in a committed relationship with someone, you don’t want to hear about all their past romances. If they’re talking too much about it, they may have issues. Does your partner habitually speak about their past loves to your friends and family?
It’s incredibly awkward to be present and have to listen to these ramblings. You feel like you’re being compared to past lovers, and your current company is embarrassed for you. Being honest doesn’t mean sharing every sordid detail about their former partners.
12. Sharing too Much with You
Sure, you’re both still human, and you may find other people attractive. It is fine to tell others that you think someone is handsome or beautiful. However, it crosses a line when they are nearly obsessed with other people’s attractiveness.
You don’t want to hear them rave about how gorgeous one of your friends, coworkers, or family members is. Some things are best left to the imagination, and this is one of them. If your partner can become this infatuated, do they have eyes for more people than you?
Final Thoughts on Oversharing in a Relationship
If you want a loving, healthy relationship that lasts, be judicious about what you share with others. Some things should remain between you and your lover. Knowing and respecting these mutual boundaries can help your relationship flourish.
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